Now that I have your attention, Jaguar has officially launched its British Villains ad campaign, featuring the likes of Ben Kingsley, Mark Strong, and Hiddleston. In Hiddleston’s teaser, the star can be seen channeling his inner Loki, mumbling on about what sounds like homicide. The teaser goes a little something like this: “Imagine you need to move four business associates in a hurry.” *Insert sinister laugh* “I think you know what I’m saying.”
The action movie-lover in me believes it has to be about murder. And if that’s the case, my confusion only grows. I admit that I don’t know much about Jaguars, but what about that car would make it easier to “move four business associates?” If they’re dead, you’d still have to pick up the bodies and put them in the trunk. Is the car going to do it for you? Or maybe the car has crazy cool hydraulics and can lower itself all the way to the ground to make it easier for you to load up the bodies! Maybe it even has a ramp to the trunk so you can roll the bodies into the car! Then again, wouldn’t four bodies be really heavy, even for a car to lug around? Why am I still talking about bodies?
Watch the ad for yourself and see if there could be any other possible meaning behind Hiddleston’s words:
I’ve got it! The only way this ad isn’t about murder is if Jaguar chose Hiddleston for his ah-mazing dance moves. Moving four business associates could be about dancing, right? Make them move to the beat? So here’s my premonition: The ad will end with Hiddleston being joined in his new Jag by four Brits before he turns on some tunes and they all start busting a move. The “villain” title and sinister laugh were all just trying to throw us off! Sorry, Jaguar. Better luck next time.